


Warmth

by Asimplewriterlivingasimplelife2



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Established Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-St3, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 22:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19895119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asimplewriterlivingasimplelife2/pseuds/Asimplewriterlivingasimplelife2
Summary: Billy wanted nothing more than to just go outside and feel the warmth of the sun. He missed it so much, but when he saw Steve Harrington, Billy really did remember how much he missed him.





	Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still in pain and felt like I just had to write this, pretending everyone is fine.

Max has told him it’s been about a month since he’s been trapped on that hospital bed. It’s been about a month that was spent sleeping, high off pain medication or longing to just go outside. Every day he saw the sun through a window, and it just made him real fucking sad. The sun, it felt like he hadn’t felt that special kind of warmth in years. There were times where he just wanted to rip all the wires out of himself and just run outside to feel it for a second. 

He missed the sun. 

Since he woke up from that apparent three-week long coma, everything just felt different. Billy had fragmented memories from when that thing was inside of him, but he remembered enough to regret. He lost a noticeable amount of weight from all the lack of working out and because of all that damage he took, Billy couldn’t do heavy lifting for a couple of weeks unless he wanted to end up back here. His hair was a lot shorter now, and he flat out hated it. He also hated all those scars marking up his body and still couldn’t bring himself to look in a mirror. When it came to getting dressed in the clothes that Max brought him from home, Billy made a strong effort to not look at himself too much. 

The nightmares didn’t exactly become too much of an issue until he started getting reductions on the pain medicine. The kind of high it gave him, he didn’t like how helpless it made him feel, yet he found himself begging for some type of sleeping pill when things started to get real bad. Sometimes Billy got what he wanted and other times the doctors would just tell him to talk about it with the shrink he was assigned. He stayed up, trying not to sleep, and the lady would always tell him that sleep would help all of that exhaustion he was feeling. Even if he wanted to sleep, Billy knew his mind wasn’t going to make it easier. The moment Billy closed his eyes he would remember something he did before he woke up screaming. 

Billy had to get used to the shower. In the first few days when he couldn’t stand being so dirty anymore, the nurses got him off the bed. It was demeaning that they needed to help him walk, but it was worse when he felt like he couldn’t breathe the second he saw it. Billy remembers starting to feel like he was back at the pool showers, seeing Heather’s face and hearing that thing too clearly back in his head. The doctors dragged him back to bed and he started begging Max to get away from him before that thing took her too. He’s pretty sure he remembers her crying again before he passed out. He eventually was able to stop the meltdowns when he turned up the shower to full heat. 

Billy has his good days, and then he has those days where he just wished that Max would have let him die. He’s been aware enough to hear from Steve that she was the one that fought all the EMT’s to try to bring him back and it ended up being a medical miracle that he was here. 

More or less still breathing. 

Billy already knew he didn’t deserve any of those tears she cried for him, not after being such a shitty brother. He would say terrible things to her, but he never physically hit her until now. If she hadn’t decided to stop talking to him then she surely had every right to do that now. Billy wasn’t expecting to see her at the hospital at all. 

Max was there every day, bright and early. 

Max would have on a backpack and after she put her board down, she opened the curtains to let the sun in. After she did that she would start talking about how many days he had been there and how many she was sure he had left. She didn’t care if he didn’t reply or couldn’t look at her because she just kept talking about stuff. Max would sometimes rant about her friends or talk about some good memory that she had with Billy. There were days where he couldn’t talk and those days that they weirdly had a completely civil conversation. Neither of them would mention Billy’s new haircut, the past events, the scars, or the fact that both of them weren’t getting enough sleep. 

There were also those days where he just cried and Max gave him those sad eyes. 

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“I know Billy.”_

She’d always go on about some bullshit about none of it being his fault and things were going to turn out okay. Billy tried to believe it, really did try, but some days were way harder than others. 

Nobody should be forgiving him. 

There was a soft knock on the door and he felt himself roughly flinch. He glanced back behind him to see Max’s weird friend from the mall standing there with a brown teddy bear clutched to her chest.

She looked a little apologetic, “Hi.” 

“Uh...hi.” 

She was wearing a bunch of bright colors again and somehow didn’t look that scared of him. She walked into the room silently and sat next to him on the bed, looking out the window. Billy did feel confused about why she wasn’t with Max, but they both just sat there in a weird heavy silence. Eventually, the girl looked over at him, “Happy?” 

Billy remembers her the first time in his head. The second time, she was the one that somehow used a memory he thought he had forgotten to bring him back to his body. Even if he wanted to, Billy didn't have the energy to lie to anyone. He gave her a slight shrug, “I don’t know about that one. I'll feel a lot better when I'm outside and home though, I've never been a huge fan of hospitals.” 

The girl gave him one of those serious looks she probably learned from her cop dad, “Can’t go home. Bad Papa.” 

The way she said that, it made him stiff. He had only really seen his dad and Susan once during his stay at the hospital, which was enough. In the past, Billy could deal with all of those blows from his father. Max wasn’t touched by his dad, but it wasn’t like Billy didn’t think about a day where his dad would completely snap. 

Things were always complicated between him and Max, a bad complicated, but Billy always made sure all that anger from his dad came onto him. 

His body was stiff and his voice still sounded so rough, “I don’t think they’d let me stay here and I wouldn’t want to.” 

"Different home. With Steve or with me."

Even after everything, almost killing her, she’d still want him to live with her. Billy’s sure she saw everything with Steve, she saw through him like an open book. Billy hated talking about his feelings with anybody and even if it was a little humiliating to confide in a fourteen-year-old girl, somehow it felt easier with her. She was giving him a real genuine smile, “Steve. Home. He makes you happy, really happy.” 

Steve Harrington had Billy fucked up from the moment they met. Billy had wanted to keep him at a distance, feeling those things his dad tried to beat out of him in California. They shouldn’t have been on speaking terms when Billy beat the shit out of Steve at the Byer’s house, yet the heart always did work in weird mysterious ways. 

Real mysterious ways. 

Steve started noticing too many bruises and started becoming a nosy bitch like he typically was. Billy most of the time shoved him off, only really accepting the help with patching up when that pain in his body was a little too unbearable. Steve would always talk too much and Billy for once didn’t want to tell him to shut the fuck up because he was back to feeling weird all over again. 

King Steve with his dumb hair and stupid smile. Billy both hated and loved all that perfection, soon realizing that he was crushing hard on the pretty rich boy of Hawkins High. 

Then that one night in Billy’s blue Camaro just happened. 

_“Is this a thing?”_

_“You tell me Pretty Boy.”_

It was all kept a secret, for the good of both of them. They passed each other in the halls, sometimes barely looking at each other. Steve would talk about their ‘hangouts’ usually as studying and all Billy had to do was give a cocky look to him at basketball practice. 

Summer came the both of them had jobs to do. Billy would be at the pool, keeping people safe or teaching kids to swim while somehow still taking in all the attention from the moms. That's all it was, attention, they didn't know about his snack of a boyfriend working his shift at the mall. Billy would go over there and tease Steve about the cheesy uniform, somehow getting support from the girl Steve worked with. Billy thought it was cute to see Steve get all red and disoriented, even better when he admitted to him that he thought the sailor costume was kind of hot. When Steve came to the pool on his days off, well Billy did feel like one of the moms as he watched Steve from his chair behind dark sunglasses.

Steve would give him a wink, knowing clearly that Billy was watching him from his lifeguard chair and Billy always couldn't help the smirk on his face.

Billy was happy with his mom in California and when she left, things were just dark. Billy had a record for hooking up with plenty of guys in secret and girls by force, but the type of rush Steve Harrington gave him was something completely different. It took a while for him to realize that buzzing emotion in his chest, whether it was from kissing or hooking up, that was something close to happiness. Billy didn’t want it to be a secret anymore and he could tell it eventually did start bothering Steve, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. 

He hated admitting it, but sometimes his dad did scare him. 

"Whatever you saw with me and Harrington-"

"It's okay."

He felt her hand gently on his arm and saw that same innocent smile, “You kept a secret because of Bad Papa, and it made you angry, really angry and sad. Bad to keep inside for too long.” 

“Yeah...I know.” 

“Love is not a secret. Steve loves you, and you love Steve.” 

Steve and Billy did have a plan, they just never got the chance to go through with it. Billy wanted to go back to California, that was the goal after he graduated. Steve was willing to go and it made Billy’s heart soar because damn it all seemed so perfect. They were going to find a place with hopefully enough money that they both had saved. Billy was going to also bring Max with him, he didn’t want to take those chances his dad was going to put all the anger onto her. They had an oddly civil conversation about it and even if she was a little upset about leaving her friends here, she was weirdly willing to do it. 

A perfect plan that seemed hopeless now, with the loss of his car. 

Billy saw her eyes suddenly looking at the bear in her hands before she slowly held it out to him. He took it, feeling that soft fur of the stuffed animal and a whole lot of confusion. 

"Present. I didn't steal, I bought it."

“For me?”

She nodded, "It was hard to pick the right one. Steve told me about the animals, and the bear felt right. Bears are strong, and you were strong."

Of course, he did.

Steve was there a lot with Max. He'd come after work, in the morning sometimes, and was Max's ride a lot of time when it got dark. Billy had been high most of the time and was too scared to ask Max if he said anything stupid. He wanted to ask Max’s friend if Steve was somewhere in this maze of a building, but the sudden burning in his eyes kept him quiet. Billy couldn’t exactly talk anymore without for sure crying in front of a kid he barely even knew, that was going to be the peak of his humiliation. 

She’s the one that showed him that little glimmer of hope and it was enough to Billy roughly swallowed as he just stared at the bear now in his hands, desperate to not cry again for the hundredth time that month, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Billy was definitely crying when she leaned over and hugged him. His mom gave him affection as a child but after he left, there was nothing with his dad. It definitely shouldn't have been a big deal but everything was hitting Billy a little too hard lately. It's humiliating and he's desperately trying to bite his lip hard enough to stop the tears. He's sure he can taste blood at some point and can hear his dad calling him a pussy. 

He was fucked up, big time.

"It's not your fault."

Billy really can't look at her right now and hearing the same shit from her just makes him feel worse inside. 

She knows he can't say much because she keeps talking, "You saved me." 

"I-I didn't do shit."

"You did. You’re a hero.” 

Those were her words, not his. 

He’s roughly rubbing at the tears on his face, not sure what to say. He wouldn’t be crying before, he learned how to hold back from all those times he faced his dad. Billy would have been channeling all of that pain into anger, it was easier to yell and hit something instead of facing all of that deep-rooted pain in his heart. 

He always swore that he wouldn’t be like his dad, but now that he thought about it….he was closer to that road than he thought. 

“I um...thanks, kid. For everything.”

Billy’s really glad that he didn’t do anything to her and, for the most part, seems pretty okay. She’s smiling and the both of them turn around just in time to see Max come in with the dreaded wheelchair. She rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh, “You will not believe the trouble I went through for this. Hey El, I thought you were in the gift shop?” 

“Hi. I was and I found the present.” 

She pointed to the bear and Max smiled, “Cute.” 

Billy slowly stood up from the bed, trying not to wince at the ache that still was going through his whole body. Max’s friend, El, looked at him for a moment like she was expecting him to fall over. When he felt steady enough she started walking towards the door, glancing at the chair. Before she left she turned to look at him and Max, “I’ll find Steve, it’s time.” 

She was gone and once more Billy was left with Max. She looked tired, but she looked better, probably way better than he’s been lately. For the first time in a while, Billy saw a small smile on her face as she softly spoke, “Ready?” 

Billy was surprised the moment he was close enough, that bear still in his hands, Max hugged him too. Luckily they both didn’t fall over as they just stood there, Billy trying to return the gesture the best he could. Billy felt the tears coming up again, swearing at himself for being so emotional. Max’s words were muffled against his shirt, “I’m really happy you’re back Billy.” 

Billy wasn’t too sure if he could say the same, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t lie to her. 

“Yeah. Me too.” 

He saw her look up at him still forcing a smile, fresh tears shining in her eyes. Billy looked towards the ceiling desperately trying to not get himself to cry again, “Stop crying for me, Maxine.” 

Usually, when he’d call her that, she’d roll her eyes or glare at him. Sometimes she’d shoot back by calling him William, which would probably ignite some form of argument because Billy hated when anyone called him that. 

He was right about her rolling her eyes at him, but she had that smile still on her face. 

“Good to know you’re still calling me that.” 

“I thought you hated it?” 

“Oh, I do. You only get a pass because you’ve been in the hospital _William._ ” 

Yeah, he still hated it. 

She stepped back behind the wheelchair and gave it a dramatic gesture, “Now sit your ass down so we can get out of here. Your boyfriend’s waiting.” 

Max happened to say that loud, but he wasn’t exactly worried about who heard. It was the fact that she knew about him and Steve too, or just flat out was assuming. Sure her friend could have easily told her but Max happened to have a way of just finding things out. 

She looks at him a little offended, “You honestly think I didn’t know?"

Max was a lot younger and it was an accident when she talked about seeing Billy with a boy a little too loudly in front of his dad. It was enough to make them move away from perfect California and Billy had bruises for weeks. Hawkins wasn’t home and his dad really would kill him if he heard about his son being a faggot ever again. Billy felt trapped and for a while, did blame Max for everything that happened. 

Billy tried to pretend, at least until he was old enough to leave. He brought girls home, somehow forced himself to have sex with them, and told Max to shut the hell up every time she brought up anything remotely close to him being gay. 

It didn’t work out too well. 

Billy didn’t want Max to forgive him right now or for a long time, not after how bad he treated her. Thinking about it just made him feel too much like his dad and he _hated_ that. The memory itself was always going to be there and it was going to be bad, but just like El said, maybe it was time for a fresh start. 

Her face got a lot softer, “I didn’t tell Neil and I won’t...not again.” 

“I know you won’t.” 

For the first time in a long time, there was a smile on both of their faces. Billy still wasn't having the best time, but he still willingly sat himself down on the chair. As they got a move on Billy pretended people weren’t looking at him, probably wondering if that monster was still in him. Max was moving as fast as she could and trying to talk about random things to get him feeling less tense. 

Her new board. 

Comic books. 

Ice cream. 

The moment they got to the front door, Billy felt his chest tighten at the sight of the sun is so close. In the distance, parked right at the front curb was his snack of a boyfriend, Steve Harrington. He was leaning on his BMW, clearly anxiously waiting for them. He’s dressed pretty casually in black t-shirt and jeans, sporting a pair of his signature ray bans. He’s talking to El and seemingly the conversation seems to be going pretty well judging by the both of them smiling. 

El starts pointing at the door and Billy feels Steve look right at them. 

Billy’s so transfixed on Steve, the warmth hitting his skin comes as a surprise. He can’t help but let out a gasp, which gets Max to stop almost immediately and come around to look at him a little concerned. Maybe she’s scared the monsters still in him, or worried somethings bleeding all over again. 

“Billy?” 

His head feels a whole lot more clear and the sun...it feels more than perfect. He gives Max a real smile and can't help but notice his voice sounding a whole lot more choked again, “I’m fine. Just caught me by surprise.” 

He would have taken off the jacket, everything, if there weren’t so many of those nasty scars ruining his skin. Billy breathed in the fresh air as he slowly stood up to take in the warmth, seeing Steve close the distance between them. 

Billy notices Steve has that stupid grin on his face and makes his voice a little deeper, “Am I dreaming or is that you Hargrove?” 

“Right here in the flesh Pretty Boy.”

Steve takes off his sunglasses and hooks them on his shirt, dark eyes looking at him all over. Billy would have loved Steve to take him all in before, all that attention always fueled him. Right now though he suddenly felt like hiding, zipping up the jacket a lot more, and it didn’t help that Steve wasn’t saying anything. 

Steve’s pulling him into a tight hug, almost as warm as the sun. They’re standing there for a little while, Billy can see the girls waiting in the backseat of the BMW watching the full scene like a movie. Maybe he was that starved of affection because three hugs in one day were already becoming too overwhelming. He feels pathetic that it brought him to tears, but he’s already realized there’s not going to be much he can do to stop all of this from happening. 

Steve’s warm, and feels exactly like home. It’s the hug that makes Billy remember that he really has missed both the sun and Steve so fucking much. There’s this heart-wrenching pain in his heart as he’s soon hugging Steve back just as tightly, closing his eyes and pressing his face into his neck. 

Billy’s crumbling again and he can feel Steve’s fingers caressing his back. The whisper in his ear is soft, “I’m right here Billy.” 

“I-I’m sorry, all the things I did-”

“That wasn’t you, it was that thing in your head.” 

Billy doesn’t know how long they’re just standing there or what the girls must be thinking. Billy can feel Steve’s fingers going through his stupidly too short hair and Billy still keeps his face hidden away from the real world, “I’m all fucked up Pretty Boy, inside and out.” 

“Doesn’t mean you’ll be that way forever.” 

Billy looked up at him and felt Steve’s hands cupping his face. Steve’s warm all over, gentle and Billy does feel just so _safe._ Steve’s thumbs are swiping at those tears on his cheeks with a sad look in his dark eyes. He gives Billy a nod and says firmly, “You got possessed by some interdimensional monster Billy, I think you have every right to be messed up. It’s normal. Maybe it’ll be bad for a week, a month, even a year but you’ll get better. We've got all the time in the world Babe. I know it’s probably kind of weird to talk to a therapist about all this stuff without them seeing you as crazy but you have Max, El, and me all right here with you.” 

Billy’s trying to stop crying and Steve still keeps on smiling like everything is just normal, “I’m not going to leave you, not now, not _ever_. We'll have even more time together since I’m your ride around town until your car gets back from the shop.”

“You paid to fix my car?” 

Steve’s back to grinning again, “Of course I did. Your car is kind of a part of you.” 

Steve Harrington was way too nice to him sometimes. 

Billy used to give a whole lot of fucks about who was watching him and Steve, but right now he didn’t care. He pulled Steve in for a kiss right there in front of all the doctors, people, and whoever else decided to watch the show. Steve was a little surprised before he kissed back, gentle like the rest of him. Billy feels that buzz and the warmth from more than just the sun going through his whole body, really reminding himself how right this all felt. 

They’re still close when Steve pulls away breathing heavily with an even bigger dumb smile on his face, “In front of everyone?” 

“I’m done keeping secrets, hiding that we’re together. Fuck my dad and fuck everyone else that has anything to say about it.” 

Steve’s pulling him in for another light kiss before he nods, “Yeah. Yeah, I like the sound of that.” 

The both of them separate and Billy can see the girls in the back of the car grinning, giggling and trying to pretend they weren't watching any of that. Steve’s gestures to his car, “My parents aren’t home and I’m pretty sure the girls probably want to hang out for a while. I’ve got a pretty killer couch and a lot of new movies from the video store, we can go catch up?” 

“Sounds like a plan Pretty Boy.” 

Billy gets in the passenger seat and Steve is putting his sunglasses back on, taking his place behind the wheel. Billy can see El in the rearview mirror smiling and Max looks right at him. She rolls her eyes with a smile on her face, “Do both of you really need to be this cute? It’s kind of disgusting.” 

El’s giggling, “Yeah. Gross.” 

Steve starts the car and starts laughing with the girls as soon as he starts driving. Billy can eventually feel himself doing the same. It's weird and definitely different, but it feels good. He's feeling the happiest he's felt all day as they're all still laughing for some time at something that wasn't even that funny.

Steve’s interlacing his free hand with Billy’s and right there Billy felt that while there might be so many wrongs to worry about all of this felt right. 

Completely fucking right. 


End file.
